Still in the time between seed and harvest

It's been 22 months since the relationship between my husband and me began to unravel. During this time I have prayed and listened for God to speak to me. Sometimes folks thought I was slightly crazy for giving Richard so many chances to make things right, but I knew I was following what God was asking me to do. I needed to make every effort to give him the opportunity to stop his relationship with Lesia and turn his life over to God. It now looks as though he would be close to taking that step but something would pull him back. Can't say what that something was, but it was definitely there. He would stroll down our memory lane and have me believing in a reconciliation, but once he was back at his apartment and closer to her, he just couldn't sustain those feelings. What makes me angry in all this is that he makes very little effort to stay in touch with his sons. So unfortunate because it is Richard that is losing out. It appears he has connected himself to Lesia's children and disconnected himself from his own sons. One of these days I believe he will look back on this and be filled with regret. That however is not something over which I have any control. I have planted the seeds of change and it is not time for harvest, at least in Richard. It is time for my own harvest. I truly feel God is telling me it is time. To that end, I believe it is time to file for divorce and end this marriage. Heartbreaking, sad, heartbreaking, and honestly, overwhelming in terms of learning how to deal with so many things on my own. But, I have God--the best support I could ever have--as well as my family and friends. They have been here for me during all these trials and I thank God every day for that. My future has so much promise and I intend to live each day to the fullest, thanking God for all the many blessings He has given me.