Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Listening to God's still voice

So, after learning of what I considered to be the ultimate betrayal--a vacation trip with a woman and her children--I contacted an attorney and had divorce papers drawn up. I don't think my husband believed I would do that, but then I NEVER thought he would cheat on me in this way and turn away from our marriage. He seemed angry, shocked, poopy-acting and defeated when I told him. When he was texting me about this trip, after I asked him point blank, he seemed flip. Guess he thought I would continue to allow this behavior. Even though I had spoken of my requirements for a reconciliation. My contacting an attorney and talking with him about specifics of a divorce settlement must have shown him that I do have a limit and it had been reached. He is now wanting to reconcile. He has made a couple of decisions that indicate he is beginning to move in that direction. Do I trust this? Not really sure I do. Do I really want the reconciliation? I love him and I believe we are meant to be together, but I am so very scared that he will betray me again. I just don't know if my heart can take another hit like the ones I have endured for the past 22 months. But, I hear God telling me to take this chance. I know I heard God tell me to contact the attorney and move forward with divorce, so why would my Lord now be telling me to be still and see where this reconciliation attempt is heading. God, I love you so much, but I feel so confused. I know if I will immerse myself in your word, I will find my answer and peace. I will continue to keep my focus on Jesus.

First adventure alone--a Success!!!

So I completed my trip to DC. I was so proud of myself. I drove to just inside VA and stopped for the night on the way up. Found a good, safe hotel and spent the night. Got to DC in time to take my son's girlfriend to the airport to pick up her sister. What a grand time we had!!! That weekend was my son's birthday so we went to a beer, bourbon and BBQ festival on Friday night. That was a blast! I cannot tell you how much fun I had and how wonderful it was that these three young adults seemed to enjoy hanging out with me. The girls and I spent a day shopping and poking around thrift stores in the DC area. We did many touristy things while we were there, but on Sunday, we went and I got the cartilage in my ear pierced. I had wanted to do that for a while, but never got my nerve up. I am loving the piercing! The drive home--made it all in one day. Wow-----a loooong time in the car but I did it and was so glad to sleep in my bed that night.